29/03/2018

I overheard someone on the train this morning talking about the benefits of having a diary and being able to read back over years and years of memories. I always remember one of my teachers in primary school told us she wrote diary entries every single night before she went to sleep, she started when she was 25 and just never stopped. I think when she taught my class she was about 65, she had suitcases full of handwritten books under her bed and in her attic…. I thought that part was a bit mad because who has that much space, but diary writing always appealed to me. I think its amazing to be able to look back and see how you were thinking and feeling at a certain time in your life, and I guess the great thing about growing older is looking back and seeing how far you have come, and how you have grown through life. I think blogging is my take on diary writing (I am not disciplined enough to write every day, and I cant imagine actually picking up a pen and paper now). I looked back a few days ago at some of the short stories I wrote in 2015 and it really put a smile on my face… firstly because I couldn’t actually believe I had written some of the stuff that I was reading, almost like reading it with fresh eyes. But in the same breath, I was proud because I wrote stuff at the most difficult times in my life, and the product was actually not that bad. I have times in my life that are documented through nothing but poetry and stories and although no one else would remember how i felt whilst writing them, I can and its really weird to see how different I feel now. I came across a poem I wrote when my dad was ill, and I remember being so scared around then, but reading it back now, that’s certainly not what came across and I just think that is the beauty of writing and turning negatives into positives. I haven’t written much properly in a long time, I always mean to write a lot more, but I am a perfectionist and unless something is immaculate I don’t want it out there. Anyone else struggle with being disciplined? I think as well writing for yourself rather than for an income or as a career can certainly have an impact. When I used to write for online blogs and magazines nothing was ever free-flowing, I don’t enjoy writing within constraints, I like being able to say what I want to say in the way I want to say it. The way you are supposed to write.  On the flip side, I have come across a few posts and thought, Ellz what the hell were you thinking writing that…but that just makes me laugh. I think the 21 year old me and the 25 year old me are two very different people, but I like making the comparisons and seeing how life has taught me different things. I actually need to write about the last 3 months because i have been sooooo busy. I said to myself at the beginning of this year, I just need to live my best life really. Not in the sense that everyone usually talks about, but do all the things I have never done and want to do, and to a certain extent I really have done that. I have eaten a LOT of food, travelled, partied, spend a lot of money doing all the above but I have honestly had the best few months of my life…and of course I want to share that with you all. There will be pictures and funny stories (I have just come back from skiing which you can imagine was eventful) so hold tight for those….and Happy Easter if you are celebrating!

Elena xxx

3 Comments

  1. Enjoy your life and keep having those experiences worth writing about whether you actually write about them or not.

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  2. Happy Easter to you too! Loved this piece! xxx

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