I feel as though recently there has been a narrative circulating that individuals thrive when they adopt the attitude that they don’t need anyone else. I think subliminally it’s been picked up from social media, reading different articles and even in general conversation, the belief that being able to stand alone is preferable and reliability on others is weakness.
Don’t misunderstand when I say that everybody needs a support system, because I agree that we need to be strong as individuals too. At 24 most of my decisions are selfish, I get up in the morning and lead the day I want to lead. I go to work for me, I work on my fitness for me, I shop for me and I socialise for me. When I am going through something it’s in my character to go through it alone, but the idea that as Human’s we don’t one another is alien. I am able to do all of the above things because I have a network of people around me that I can count on when I need them and vice versa.
I think females sometimes convince themselves that they don’t need men, and men that they don’t need females. Perhaps this also correlates with the mirroring concept that people will only be what you show them to be or to think. Realistically we do need the opposite sex, not only as partners but as father/mother figures, as brothers/sisters and as colleagues and friends. Feeding into and maintaining it is counterproductive and unrealistic.
I like to believe that the perfect balance exists. That because no two people are the same there is beauty in interacting with another completely different to yourself. Where someone falls short, the other makes up. Feeding into the ideology that none of us need anyone is dangerous and evolves an existing self-fulfilling prophecy…
Perhaps too often we settle because we don’t believe that we can achieve or materialize into anything higher. This can be in terms of writing, art, business, life. Sometimes this is because of what others tell us, or how we grew up maybe even our own self perception but your success will always be negotiable with you. I was thinking about this a lot while away and what I would tell somebody in my shoes a year or two ago and these are tips about writing and blogging in general, and in a business sense to pass on.
- Stay connected to your biggest source of confidence
What uplifts you? The same thing that makes you happy and proud will probably be connected to your passion. Anything we really want we work for without being asked which builds up our strength and ability. For me writing started like baby scribble and then when I started to focus it grew from there. When you start to invest in your ability you become more confident in it and you should be!
- Nothing is certain but anything is possible
Keep reminding yourself of this. For example you might have an ideal in your head which never materializes but what you are left with is something different – or better. This means that anything is possible and you are free to create and have fun with that. I suppose this is the same in business where you will have to improvise with the unexpected.
- Think of Your Weaknesses as your features
Don’t fear criticism because it’s your friend. My biggest weakness is thinking that people already know what I’m talking about so explanation of my point of view is something that I had to grow through others misunderstanding. Ultimately they all help to build your profile!
- Break the Mould
Firstly the one around you. Most of the time things are overdone, if you have another point of view or way of doing things then share it, maybe people will be more captivated by originality than similarity. Sometimes we can be hesitant to do this but it helps you improve. When I started ‘The Islands’ it was a stab in the dark and i’m pretty sure everyone was like ‘whaaaat?’ but a lot came out of it. Secondly – step out of your own comfort zone and try to see things through the eyes of others to gain different perspectives.
- Retain your simplicity
Simplify and clarify. In terms of writing/blogging – it doesn’t have to be miles long, just try to get your point across. Keep things simple and clear so you are better equipped to handle it all. I am guilty of trying to do too much with one thing sometimes so mastering that saves confusion and hopefully helps my readers.
In my opinion an artist should attempt to reflect their own life, feelings, experiences and emotions and the way they tie in with current society. Sometimes to evoke change, sometimes to highlight differences, always to tell a story.
I’m sorry that I haven’t posted too much but you all know that the first instalment won’t be the last..I’m working on it :D Can’t wait to share with you.
Don’t let me be misunderstood – Nina Simone
Abia remembered places how she tasted sweets. Sour and sweet, sour and sweet. The ones that were delightfully ordinary and ones that were treats. Cities like candy in a powdered box they were there to relish, to reminisce.
Nova Fribrugo was high up in the mountains. It carried mist through it’s air and whistles in it’s winds. Her childhood home was like a dark chocolate humbug, or a sea salted caramel. It oozed with tradition, with sweetness and familiarity, but left an aftertaste of indifference.
Merolas was a sugar coated fruit cube. Covered in snowy sweetness it was soft to touch, full of flavour and adventure. But it’s taste was ambiguous if you did not let it settle on your tongue, too sharp if left there for too long, too much in one mouthful and you might choke.
© elenaxtina.com, 2015 in Skies over A Shanty Town
The Story Torcello told Tomaso
As a brother, Tomaso was one of two. As a sibling, he was one of seven.
The elder of five sisters, he quickly learned lessons of responsibility and sacrifice.
The Almari (name family lineage) were known for generations as mietitrebbia (laborers) of the Sicilian hillside.
Harvesting from the olive vineyards in summer season, and rearing lambs winter through to spring.
A profession that left them respected, but ironically less fruitful.
Dedicated to the church and bound by its rituals,
any extra wealth would slip through his fathers fingers before it settled in his pocket,
or indeed that of his children.
This left some of the seven humble. Some of them, hungry.
His brother, the latter.
Tomaso saw a world to be healed. Antonio saw a world to be conquered.
© elenaxtina.com, 2015