I feel as though recently there has been a narrative circulating that individuals thrive when they adopt the attitude that they don’t need anyone else. I think subliminally it’s been picked up from social media, reading different articles and even in general conversation, the belief that being able to stand alone is preferable and reliability on others is weakness.
Don’t misunderstand when I say that everybody needs a support system, because I agree that we need to be strong as individuals too. At 24 most of my decisions are selfish, I get up in the morning and lead the day I want to lead. I go to work for me, I work on my fitness for me, I shop for me and I socialise for me. When I am going through something it’s in my character to go through it alone, but the idea that as Human’s we don’t one another is alien. I am able to do all of the above things because I have a network of people around me that I can count on when I need them and vice versa.
I think females sometimes convince themselves that they don’t need men, and men that they don’t need females. Perhaps this also correlates with the mirroring concept that people will only be what you show them to be or to think. Realistically we do need the opposite sex, not only as partners but as father/mother figures, as brothers/sisters and as colleagues and friends. Feeding into and maintaining it is counterproductive and unrealistic.
I like to believe that the perfect balance exists. That because no two people are the same there is beauty in interacting with another completely different to yourself. Where someone falls short, the other makes up. Feeding into the ideology that none of us need anyone is dangerous and evolves an existing self-fulfilling prophecy…
Perhaps you are meant to hold on
until you can’t feel you fingers
until you cannot tell two sets of hands apart
Perhaps you are meant to say you care
in every way there is to say it without words
Until you bruise and lose your grip
Perhaps you are meant to keep
that bite with gritted teeth
Until it teaches you how to
absolutely yet graciously,
© elena andrean
How many years have you listened to me talking about space, all those freckles on your face you are basically the solar system, and you deserve the stars. We always wanna walk arm in arm to them, just us two. How many times have we been on the darkest side of the moon, but found each other there, and instead of running scared, tread footprints on its surface. For you, if it takes going to the moon and back, you’ve already earned it. (you told me you were no writer but we’ve listened to the same fucking albums for about 10 years at the back of the 86, so you’ve got the same rhythm as I do) So in your own words, “I’ve cried with you. I’ve suffered with you. I’ve loved with you. I’ve laughed with you. I’ve travelled with you. I’ve lived with you. I’ve grown with you.” from six to twenty two with you. How many years have we revised in the sun together and passed all of our exams, (yes to get tan) but probably because we wouldn’t let each other give up, or trip up, just to keep each other up where we needed to be, no one understands this as well as you and me. I love the way you see life, sort of ‘sitting on a boat’ the whole time you roll with the waves and keep on smiling, so gravity you defy, rocks can come in an unsinkable kind. (and I hope you get the reference because I seriously cried!!!) We give no fucks together, made shadows on the ceiling together (I don’t think it’s that weird probably a lot of people do it) burnt potatoes and toast together, looked upon sunsets and sunrises in cities and beaches and parks of all kinds, I listen while you predict my life, you’re usually right. I tell you not to worry so much, that ‘everything gonna be alright’. I crack your prawns and you fix my computers, this is how we work right? (u still owe me a holiday if the bet pays off). You are my sister, and family aside, you taught me what love is, as unconditional as the sun shinning every day, even from behind the clouds, filtering it’s light into the stars at night. We always wanna walk arm in arm to them, just us two. You so pretty and witty and your big blue eyes are like the kind of denim that I don’t fit in, how many times have you shoved me into a dress and how many times have I saftey-pinned yours and checked your RH Line (ha-ha). We both fucking hate big gestures, especially in public, but sometimes actions speak louder than words do, this is my jumble of the two, and I hope it’s enough to get my point across, I hope this is enough to show you. In your own words, “I’ve cried with you. I’ve suffered with you. I’ve loved with you. I’ve laughed with you. I’ve travelled with you. I’ve lived with you. I’ve grown with you.” from six to twenty two with you.
a little bit early but – Happy birthday lp